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InLifestyle, Personal

Where I’ve Been And What’s Next

Where I've Been And What's Next

I’ve been trying to think of a clever way to start this post, but all I’ve been able to come up with is “long time, no see” and I feel that’s been over done. I’m sure by now most of you have realized that I stepped away from blogging and social media, but I’m happy to say that my little break is over and I’m excited to be back. I decided to take some time off from the internet, and it ended up turning into an unplanned month-long break, which apparently I really needed.

One thing to know about me is that I’m a severe workaholic. It’s something I inherited from my parents, and is a bit of a blessing and a curse. Being so work-focused has allowed me to become my own boss (a trait that you definitely need if you’re planning on becoming an entrepreneur), but it also means that I have a hard time switching off and giving myself a break (especially when I’m needing one most). Because of this, I tend to push myself far past all of the warning signs that tell me I should slow down, until the point that I have a little mental freak out and recoil into myself until I gain some sanity back.

This past month has probably been my worst burn out yet. It struck out of nowhere, and even though I had content planned that I was really excited to create, I couldn’t bring myself to do any of the work. I started getting anxious about getting on social media, and couldn’t even pick up my camera or open my editorial calendar without getting mad and beating myself up over all of my shortcomings. Now that I’m starting to come out on the other side, I can see that I was just being my own worst enemy. I need to start taking more breaks and stop getting caught up in comparisons and worrying about if what I’m doing is as good as everybody else.

During my almost month-long sabbatical, I did a bit of soul-searching and a lot of things became clear to me. I’ve been so focused on work that I’ve pretty much completely isolated myself from the outside world. I’ve stopped leaving my house and going out like I used to, to the point where it’s affecting my health. I’ve lost interest in hobbies and the things I used to do for fun, and haven’t been to church in months. Basically, I’ve let work become my sole existence – all I’ve focused on for the past couple years is my blog and building my online presence, as well as trying to keep up with what everyone else is doing. It’s become exhausting being so one-dimensional, and it finally got to the point where I snapped.

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been making small lifestyle changes to get back to the person I want to become again. I’ve been making an effort to get out of the house and go do things again. Things as simple as going to Starbucks for coffee or the farmers market have been so joyful for me, and these trips have been helpful in pulling me out of my shell again. I’ve also been doing things to relax instead of focusing on work 24/7. I’ve actually allowed myself to get into a video game again and have been playing Fallout 4 like crazy lately. It’s been nice to kind of escape into a video game for a few hours, and I didn’t realize how much I missed doing so until recently. In my off time I’ve been putting some work into my shop, as well as just learning again. Learning how to do different things in Photoshop for graphic design, learning a few new photo editing techniques, learning ways to calm the mind when I’m in the middle of an anxiety attack. It’s been refreshing to discover new things, and I really feel like it’s helped me get out of this rut I’ve been in.

So where does that leave us now? I’m back to blogging, but I want to go about it a little differently this time. I’m still incredibly passionate about beauty, but I’d like to throw in some other topics from time to time. Things like books, decor, mental health, fashion, and even some recipes here and there. I think one reason why I felt so burnt out was because I felt like beauty was the only thing I could write about if I wanted the post to go over well. I’m trying to get better at throwing that mindset out the window and allowing myself to write about whatever I’d like, so expect some fun new content in the near future. Also, I got totally wrapped up in the hustle with Instagram, to the point where it became more of a “because I have to” than a “because I want to”, which never should be the case when it comes to social media. I got so wrapped up with when I was supposed to post and how aesthetically pleasing my feed looked that it totally killed my love for the app. I want to start posting again just for the fun of it this time, and if I end up posting at 10pm or go a few days without getting a new picture up, well dammit who cares?

I’ve absolutely written my heart out here, so I’ll end this before it becomes a complete novel. I’ve missed you guys and creating content for my little space here, and I want you all to know that I’m really happy to be back.

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13 Comments

  • Brittany

    First, I’m so glad you took the time off you needed! Second, I can’t wait to see a variety of posts from you! I know exactly how you feel about what I like to call “the instagram game” and how easy it is to get caught up in it. It also terribly difficult not to constantly compare yourself to other people. I struggle with this constantly. My biggest suggestion is make sure you plan those escapes you desperately need just like you would work! Hope you are back to feeling less anxious and more inspired!

    Brittany | thechicette.com

    July 15, 2018 at 8:10 pm Reply
  • Billie

    I love this post. Having a chance to refresh your mind can be so helpful.

    Billie | Other Summers

    July 17, 2018 at 1:06 am Reply
  • Life As Najida

    Glad to hear you are back! You definitely deserved a break and just remembsr that we are all here when you come back x
    http://www.lifeasnajida.co.uk

    July 17, 2018 at 3:52 am Reply
  • Diana

    I can’t wait to see your new posts!

    xx
    http://www.thedecemberdame.com

    July 17, 2018 at 5:53 am Reply
  • Ash

    So glad to have you back, I’ve missed your blog posts terribly! But I also know the value of taking some time off and I’m glad it was refreshing for you. Looking forward to more posts!

    Ash | http://www.theashtreejournal.com

    July 17, 2018 at 1:37 pm Reply
  • Kelsey

    This is the one thing that I am worried about with starting my blog. I don’t want to forget about the world around me and the things that I enjoy besides my passion for connecting with people through words. I too am a workaholic and if you have any advice on how to prevent this I will gladly take it. I’m glad your back and took a much needed break. Sometimes that’s all that’s needed to reset that button.

    July 17, 2018 at 6:45 pm Reply
  • Ashley Ziegler

    I wondered where you went! Haha for a moment I wondered if I was still following you! I’m so glad you were able to take a break and do things that you wanted to!

    July 17, 2018 at 11:35 pm Reply
  • Katie

    It’s good to take time off, and leaving the house is so healthy! Maybe try sitting in Starbucks and doing some work every so often? I find it helps to have a change of scenery! Look forward to the new content 🙂

    Katie | katieemmabeauty.com

    July 19, 2018 at 12:52 pm Reply
  • krystal

    so glad you’re back! I’m happy you took time for yourself to reflect on how you’re feeling and what you want/need! I can’t wait for the new topics here either! I love your blog and I think adding in different things will be GREAT!

    July 22, 2018 at 10:08 am Reply
  • Joy

    This post has really struck a cord with me. Thank you for sharing. I enjoyed how you left your heart on this post. Such great confidence to take time out and invest in yourself. You have shown me that IT IS OKAY to get to this point but what is more important is how to get out. Lots of love to you. cannot wait for more content from you.
    PS: I peeped on your MAC wallpaper and found the words my heart was longing to cry out God.

    July 22, 2018 at 12:28 pm Reply
  • Lailah

    I missed you too. This blog was one of the first blogs I came across almost 3 years ago and I haven’t stopped reading you ever since. So happy you had a chance to think, relax and enjoy your time. The same happened to me and I actually just finished writting my come back post. But I can relate so much, feeling like you only have to blog about beauty or needing ti post at a certain time. Oh lord! It’s awefull. But so glad you are back and can’t wait to see what you come up wih

    July 22, 2018 at 9:57 pm Reply
  • Sarah

    It’s good to have you back! I definitely feel you on that instagram thing, I haven’t posted in weeks because I just haven’t had any time to create content for it and I constantly feel anxious for not posting in so long when it doesn’t matter! I will have time to create content again soon and I just have to enjoy it, that’s the most important thing!

    Sarah
    http://www.sarahaurorax.com

    July 23, 2018 at 2:51 pm Reply
  • Elizabeth Hoffmann

    I have felt this a little in the past month myself, but I am excited that my motivation for my blog is coming around again! I spruced things up and it looks so inviting that so many ideas started flowing and I am excited to see what will come next! That’s why I have learned to keep moving forward and don’t give up, because you can get tired of doing something even if you love it, but the excitement will come around again! Glad to have you back!

    August 21, 2018 at 12:16 am Reply
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