I think it’s time I finally come clean about the one thing all bloggers want to know – how can I make my blog popular overnight? How can I get millions of views, comments, and obsessed fans? Everyone always wants to know if there’s some trick to creating a super successful blog, and I’m here to tell you that there is. It’s time I share all of the secrets of popular bloggers everywhere.
- Copy and paste articles from magazines you read as posts on your own blog. Don’t worry about giving credit to the magazines, they don’t mind at all.
- Spend a good chunk of money on fake followers, not only for your blog but also for your social media accounts. Just think of them as silent friends. 🙂
- Speaking of money, go ahead and spend every last penny on things for your blog. Even if you don’t think you need it, buy it.
- Take pictures off of Pinterest and Tumblr and use them for your posts. If people didn’t want you using their pictures, they wouldn’t upload them, right?
- Publish posts 5-6 times a day. You really want to make sure that EVERYONE sees your posts.
- Fill your sidebars with every widget available. Readers like variety.
- Also, choose a blog design that has a black background with electric neon writing (or you could opt for a white background with highlighter yellow font).
- Only use working links 50% of the time. Keep your readers guessing which link will actually work, it’s like a fun game.
- Don’t respond to comments. Ever. If you see someone has left you a new comment, just pretend it’s not there.
- You know that embarrassing Facebook photo of you drunk with one boob almost popping out of your top? Use it as your profile picture.
- Start charging for ad space as soon as you create your blog. Don’t undervalue your worth. Start at $100 and go up from there.
- Host a giveaway every week for the sole purpose of getting new readers.
- If, in the beginning, you don’t get very many comments, go ahead and leave yourself a bunch of fake comments so it looks like you’re popular. People will like you more.
- Screw spelling and grammer. It’s your blog, you’re life, you do what you want. #YOLO
- If you don’t know the facts, make them up!
- Install one of those music players into your layout, and have it auto play “All About That Bass” on repeat. Trust me, everyone loves that song.
- Write posts throwing shade at other bloggers. It will just prove how much better your blog is.
- And lastly, write a totally bogus post giving advice that nobody should ever listen to.
HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY! ^_^